not good enough – song story

so yeah, close to a month ago, on the 13th of february i watched a musical put together by the singaporean society in cambridge. it blew me away. the songs, albeit in mandarin (not my best language), were all original and so well-written. and the singers were really impressive too. i was well and truly impressed. the icing on the cake was that this was put together by cambridge students, students who were as busy as i was, who managed to find time to pursue their passion. 

and it struck me – this is exactly what i want to do; to sing and write songs. but cambridge in general, and law in particular, have stifled this little dream of mine. 

i must admit that after the musical, i was quite down. so i took out my guitar and started singing and worshiping God, trying to lift my spirit. and what happened next was something quite special. i wrote not good enough – the verse, chorus, and bridge – all in the space of 2 hours. i’d like to think it’s spirit-inspired, so all glory goes back to Him 🙂

God has been impressing on me a lot this season about His grace. His grace that is independent of my performance. often times i feel really depressed about not being ‘good enough’ for God, and needing to earn His favour or blessing. and this is essentially what this song is about. 2 Cor 12:9 – His grace is sufficient for me, His power is made perfect in my weakness. 

i recorded the video on my iphone, so pardon the poor sound quality. i’ve decided not to do any further recording because i’d like to keep it raw and personal. and the lyrics might sound depressive, but i think they are ultimately necessary – they capture how i felt and do feel. 

God bless.

Lyrics:

——————————————————————

Engulfed by guilt

Burdened with shame

How could I ever face you again?

I’ve failed in trying

To be holy for you

I hate the man

I have become

How could I have gone so far?

I don’t get how

You’d love someone like me

Pre-chorus:

‘Cos I’m not good enough

No I’m not good enough

Chorus:

But I know

Your love is amazing Lord

It’s amazing Lord, You are

Yes I know

Your love is amazing Lord

It’s amazing Lord, You are

And I’m not good enough

But you’ve done more than enough

For me

Bridge:

I wish you’d take this thorn away

So I could just live everyday 

Without the feeling of condemnation

But you say “Do not fear,

“My grace is always near, 

“My pow’r’s made perfect in weakness”

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